Thursday, January 12th, 2006
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5:54 pm - Maybe if your eyeliner wasn't so thick you could see the truth.....
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Things:
*Uploaded a lot of my CD's onto my Ipod. 60 gigs is a shitload... I put like 70 cds on it and it says I've used like 5 gigs of space. ha.
*Wrote many new songs for my record (and they're all about you).
*I'm jamming with Mizzi tommarow. Hopeless Records here we come! (joemizzi.com, if you want to hear some samples)
*Learned how to play "Mr. Jones" perfectly on guitar today... it will probably get me laid tonight.
*Pistons game on Saturday... I'll try to get on TV by running onto the court and pulling Rip's shorts off and stealing his mask.
*Auto Show on Sunday
*Fall Out Boy & Hawthorne Heights is on 4/20... I love life.
*I've gone to the gym everyday this week with Brad, I've lost 4lbs.
*I haven't smoked in a while, but I probably will over the weekend.
*I got a new job at LIFETIME Fitness in Novi with Kevin. Pretty sweet shit...
*I miss you.
and ew... pleaseeee stop texting, you annoying fucks.
REAL EYES
REALIZE
REAL LIES
current mood:  happy
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Tuesday, January 10th, 2006
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1:45 pm - even on your best day you're a hack compared to hemmingway or olds.....
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there was a day when i wanted to pay her.
it wasn't ever about the money.
i wanted the slut.
the skin in a 5 inch area on the back of the girl that no one knows is the smoothest and safest place in the world.
xoxo.
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Monday, January 9th, 2006
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5:50 pm
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WOW...
you are super pathetic.
I mean, super- duper "how the fuck can one person be so fucked up in the head" pathetic.
PS:
Bradley and I are seeing Tegan & Sara with CAKE at the House of Blues Cleveland on Jan. 22nd.
We are also going to the Rock-N-Roll hall of fame while we're there.
I'm dazzled.
PSS:
I am not one to just take others opinions on movies/music whatever,
but... Hostel is the worst movie I've ever seen.
Go buy a 40 and a pack of condoms with the 9 bucks.
current mood: happy
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Sunday, January 8th, 2006
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12:11 pm - Being right feels oh so good......
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I love walking away from things when I am the biggest fucking winner.
Some people should catch on........
"I told you so".
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Saturday, January 7th, 2006
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1:00 pm - I wasn't prepared for this..........
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Please don't tell her that I miss her
Because I don't.
Because I'm crazy like the rest of us
But I'm crazier when I'm next to her
And it's amazing how she's self-assured
And I know she'd hate me if she knew my words...
Do I hurt anymore?
Do I hurt?
I don't.
current mood:  content
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Tuesday, January 3rd, 2006
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6:46 pm - there was a time before all of this when you were just normal. It will exist again.
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you are cute but you are dissapointing. you make a great picture but only an okay article.
happy new year.
over and way the fuck out,
xoxo
current mood:  cold
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Thursday, March 3rd, 2005
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11:52 am
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Ok... fuck this journal. I am not going to post in it anymore. I made a new journal for the public where I will post my random ramblings, pictures, band news, etc. The name is ROCKNROLLJP
if you want to read it, great. if you don't, great. the only reason i am making a new public one is because some people actually care about the band and what i'm doing with my life blah blah blah.
sweet, so bye.
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Tuesday, March 1st, 2005
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2:10 pm
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an open letter to pete wentz.
it takes a lot to make me mad.
it takes even more to infuriate me.
so, after all this time i finally learned the truth. that it was you telling my ex girlfriend lies and secrets. despite even giving you the pass card after i caught you trying to talk dirty to her online, this is how you repay me? no wonder why you couldnt look me in the eye on the bus last summer and no wonder why you avoided me every chance you got.
you hug me and tell me you love me then you tell lies to my girlfriend behind my back to lure her away from me? you tell her i cheat on her and then you tell me to come stay on the bus?
you are a spineless fucking sham.
i regret every second i spent defending you and your selfish ways.
dont forget, i know you. not that shitty glammed up poser image you present to the masses to consume. the dude i knew never would have worn a fucking dinosaur shirt or sold out one of his friends. the dude i knew had heart and fucking loyalty. well lil buddy, you are fucking done.
you want to sell me out to the most important person in my life and then have the audacity to make ME think I did something wrong to not deserve your friendship? you fucking arrogant bastard.
since we're discussing sellouts lets discuss how when kids give you presents you laugh at them and throw it straight in the trash. oh yeah, ive seen it many times. lets talk about how you talk shit about the fat girls that are your fans and mock their letters. you are fucking undeserving of every ounce of attention you've ever gotten. from every one of your calculated business moves to your "spontaneous" jumps in the crowd parts to your well rehearsed cliche lines you've been spouting for 400 shows in a row. you're boring, contrived and old. "oooh, no one loves me, its sooo hard being on magazine covers and tv shows. someone save me from me." what are you, fucking 12? go light your little candles ask yourself why no one will ever truly love you. its amazing no one has caught on to your little fucking show. you're nothing more than a shitty opportunist business man with even shittier fashion sense.
so pack up and move to whatever million dollar house you've picked out in california paid for by your lies and hypocrisy and deceit and selfishness and over medicate yourself like youve been doing for years...because guess what? no one wants you here anymore. you are not welcome.
oh yeah, hows that straight edge tattoo doing? as well as the tattoo for your "crew" who now refer to you as a fraud and a con? stay gold dude, stay gold.
remember this each night of the tour when you play the lie, "hey chris, you were our only friend."
downplay it all you want by saying the song is about "friends", but guess whos fucking name you're saying each and every night? mine. thats right. what a bunch of fucking phonies. sing the songs you dont even believe in anymore. fucking liar.
you know the friends i have and you know how we feel about loyalty.
you know who im talking about and you know they're not happy either.
so dont get caught slipping and you better make damn sure you watch whos on your guest list because a plus one might come backstage to punch your fucking teeth out and tear the windpipe from your throat.
you fucking sell out.
oh, and next time you decide to write another song about me, do it right you fucking coward.
**********REPOST EVERYWHERE YOU CAN****************
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Saturday, February 26th, 2005
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3:25 pm
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For anyone who read the last entry in this journal, I'm sorry, those were not my words. An ex friend who can't seem to get "over it" hacked into this journal and fucked with my settings and my entries. I believe I have fixed everything, but if it happens again this journal will be deleted. It just sucks I had to come home from two AMAZING shows this weekend to this bullshit. Please everyone, grow up, let's not hack eachothers livejournals.
oh- and you really shouldn't fuck with me.
current mood:  pissed off
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Saturday, November 20th, 2004
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2:58 pm - 1 day more....
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</verdana>
i love how i never update.
i move on monday, and thats all i really have to say.
ummm... buy me things for my life.
i love bed hogs.
current mood: excited
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Tuesday, November 9th, 2004
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4:09 pm - you can't blame a girl for sticking to what she knows
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</verdana>
so once upon a time my mom saw my tongue ring..
and i definetely got kicked out of my house
the same day darlene and i picked a move in date.
november 22.
and, oh- my- god.
current mood: AHHH!
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Friday, November 5th, 2004
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12:15 am
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</verdana>
i love how for once in my life i fucking say how i feel and it kicks my ass.
and i've found another flaw:
i can't bring myself to pull the trigger.
current mood:  i'm a dumbfuck.
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Tuesday, November 2nd, 2004
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11:44 pm - i've become so numb i can't feel you there...
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</verdana>
i drank until i couldnt think straight last night. took jen home at 5 am. happy birthday you little fuck face. all the sheets came off my bed and i wasn't the only one in them. i tell myself i hate the taste of alcohol but i always find my lips glued to a bottle. we can play this game called honesty and i'll say i wish they were glued to you.
god i'm in love with you.
NGG428: yay it's now illegal to be gay
fuck that...
current mood: fuck you michigan voters.
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Monday, November 1st, 2004
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3:02 am
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</verdana>
it's 3 in the morning and i'm supposed to be waking up for school at 6. i'm in love with you but i can't spit it out because you turn me into a mess. you're so beautiful. being out with you makes me feel like royalty. i thought this all out on the expressway on the way home and i wanted to tell you in person but you make me too nervous to speak. i wish you were so drunk i could tell you everything. you could agree with me, i could be alright, and then you could wake up the next morning not remembering anything. i think i'd be ok with that. i just gotta get this all out. i drank a shit load and passed out on my kitchen floor the other night becuase of you and i don't really know why. i don't know why benstein knows everything and you know nothing. i've got so much explaining to do and i don't even know where to start. i'm a fucking mess. i haven't been this crazy since i don't know when. i write songs for you on my wrists and for once they're black and blue from ink and not from razors. i'm so fucked up over you it's disgusting. i think you know but i'm not too sure. whatever you were thinking in the car on the way to gigi's was probably correct. that part when i was looking out the window and i seemed all pissy but i was really laughing cause i'm the funniest joke ever. i'm too fucked up right now to keep going. drinking enhances your dreams. pink lingerie instead of purple. i got the memo.
current mood:  drunk
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Saturday, October 30th, 2004
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12:29 pm - we're having babies.. and then she'll be my suicide letter. (yourenotsupposedtounderstandthis)
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</verdana>
I wish I could fucking scream into this screen.
the past few days have been kind of a blur.
i get it but i don't "get it".
i know it's love but i'm not loving this.
ihateguessinggames.
i wish i could tell you everything.
i wish you could put my mind at ease.
i wish i could be an optimist-
and wish on your pretty fallen eyelashes
and be sure that everything will be ok.
And now for my rambling...
I am sure that love makes you crazy. It makes me crazy for sure.
Phenylethylamine (PEA), the chemical responsible for the swooning and feelings of adoration, is structurally similar to cocaine. Most people choose cocaine over love when given the chance and I wouldn’t say that’s a bad choice, because love (especially this kind) fucking sucks. The endorphins released during infatuation are similar to heroin; only they don’t make you skinny and pale. Oxytocin, “the cuddling hormone” most often found in new mothers and newlyweds, are like ecstasy- every touch feels a bit tinglier.
Love exists in a bottle.
In a syringe.
I want mine diluted with water.
current mood: numb
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Monday, October 25th, 2004
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3:30 pm - depression is so 90's...
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</verdana>
My computer keeps dying.
It's stupid (and so is this...).
I'm a genius and figured out something important.
I was watching the "girl next door" and
realized it isn't just a teen flick
with suprisingly great acting.
It's got meaning.
I found it.
Don't you love my typing pattern?
Ha...
Anyway...
You're my moral fiber.
and I think I love you.
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Friday, October 22nd, 2004
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2:34 am - i know i ask you too many times... but reassure me... i need it. i need you.
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</verdana>
listen to david gray's "this years love" and then tell me how badly you want to be in love with somebody.
current mood: mas-o-menos. :)
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Wednesday, October 20th, 2004
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11:40 pm - you've got this silly way of keeping me on the edge of my seat...
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</verdana>
drove around for hours tonight just to keep myself from feeling anchored. weighed down. to keep my mind off thinking about what kids like me deserve.
desperation isn't a strong enough word (but it will have to do). my wrists are only black and blue because i don’t have the balls to tell you how i really feel. nothing gets you ready to have every single word dissected and put under a microscope. i got ringing in my ears but none on my fingers. we’re not just falling in love anymore, we’re demanding it. i'm sorry, but i cant feel my heart anymore. it gets me all confused and upset, especially when i'm driving around for hours at night. i'd love to swerve off and blame it on the fog, but i've been talking on these roads too much lately, they'd spill all my secrets. i like to think i'm untouchable (but untouchable is unlovable). my snooze button is becoming my best friend... whats the point in getting out of bed anymore if its just to say that you did?
i'm so lost.
current mood: depressed
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Sunday, October 17th, 2004
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11:36 pm - i left my heart at y o u r house...andsmiledallthewayhome.
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</verdana>
and it's been hours now,
to be here like this...
and just to lay you down,
and just to taste your lips...
and just to keep me up,
god i'm tired of sleeping...
and just to lay beside you,
and just to know this feeling.
i wanna feel through you tonight...
but i won't make you.
current mood:  confused
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Saturday, October 16th, 2004
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9:19 pm - hey there.... i know its hard to feel, like i don't care at all....
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</verdana>
Spare me just three last words
"I love you" is all she heard...
I'll wait for you... but I can't wait forever...
So cut my wrists and black my eyes...
so I can fall asleep tonight...
or die... because you kill me.
You know you do, you kill me well.
You like it too, and I can tell.
You won't stop until... my final breath is gone.
and I can't make it on my own.
current mood: depressed
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